Alchemical Insecurities

What is it that i am looking for?
Excitement, Surprise?
Is expectation the real enemy of truth and reality?
... of Dreams?
... of Escapism?
Will i ever Learn? (Do i even want to?)
Don't say a word.. don't Jinx it.
As if spoken words are proverbial Daggers hurled at the end-result, killing it.
Work and Pray.. the Alchemist's Mantra.
Countless times before i spoiled the results and it all blew on my face!
You stupid man.. Heard a couple of smart words spoken in a tender tone.
You hypocritical idiot! You can't make a golem with only a toe, a finger and a voice.
You need so much more.. so much more that you can't simply replace the rest of the equation with mere "Expectation". That doesnt result in "Human Being" it only results in Chimera.
Human transmutation , however, always ends in error, hubris and , ultimately, Pain and Regret.